Necessary Sin
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: Riza tells Roy one lie, after the Promised Day. Oneshot.


For crying out loud. My FMA doc is 100,000 words plus and I've only been writing shit for a month and a half; what the hell did Roy do to my muse? Anyway, as a student studying to be a doctor, this pains me a little to write, because no doctor would ever do what Riza's does here. But, it is necessary for the plot. Also, I know this has absolutely been done to death (every Royai author ever has written post-Promised Day blind!Roy needing Riza) but- my muse won't shut up. I've still got two more oneshots and then two multichapters I'm working through, hell. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Riza had been touching Roy in some way, shape, or form ever since they'd been reunited with the alchemists taken as sacrifices.

It was a mutual need. After seeing him ripped away, pinned down, bleeding, _screaming,_ and now that unspeakably horrible empty, grey void that passed over her stare without comprehension... she'd found herself unable to step away. Roy, for his part, had let one of his mangled hands slip down to hers as soon as Father had been taken down, and even though he'd been shaking with the pain of it for a while, he hadn't let go until a doctor had forced him.

Initially covered with blood, both her own and Roy's, and still weak and barely able to stand on her own, Riza hadn't been able to protest vehemently enough to stop a physician from taking her away to be examined elsewhere.

Those few moments she'd still been able to see him before the door had slammed shut, his glazed eyes had been wide with panic, and his hand had still been reaching for her.

That was enough, to convince her.

(It would be the first and only time she would ever lie to him, but it was a necessary sin. She did not feel guilt.)

* * *

The doctors, stymied by Roy's lost eyesight, offered a few rather hopeless promises all lacking in confidence concerning it before moving on in their discussion quite quickly. All they could really do for him now was fix his hands. Bradley's blades had dived deep and without mercy, slicing to splinter and move his very bones. It was a miracle he'd even been able to snap at all, and he would require surgery soon if he wanted to be able to do so in the future. It would take only several days of waiting, but, _several days_ of separation was simply intolerable.

Riza stayed away only long enough to hear Roy's prognosis, and then convince her doctor that Mei's Eastern Alchemy really had left her perfectly fine, all that remained on her throat the tender scar of near death, but, _no,_ she was not going to leave the colonel's side, even if she had to shoot herself in the foot to get herself in the bed next to Roy's.

 _For God's sake, Lieutenant, you can still visit him, you'll just have to leave at night-_

 _No._

 _I'm not leaving him._

The moment she'd forced the extremely reluctant physician into giving in, Riza had left the exam room without a second thought and headed directly back to Roy.

She could see him shaking from the moment she'd stepped inside the room. His head whipped around at the sound of the door and his empty eyes moved blankly over her, searching in vain for what he would never again see. His chest rose with a short gasp of a breath, shaking with barely contained panic, fear that she had never seen in him before alive on his face now, and Riza knew she had made the right decision.

"Colonel," she said, and in that moment, terror dissolved into absolute relief.

"Lieu... Lieutenant..."

His voice trembled under the weight of emotion, and he pulled one of his hands back from the doctor without pause, holding it out to her. Riza walked forward in an instant to stand by his side, touching his shoulder instead. The moment her fingers found his skin, Roy gasped again, shaking still, any control he'd still had dissolving under her touch, and he curled injured fingers around her shoulder and forced her even closer to him, holding her so tight she couldn't have stepped away even if she had wanted to. He inhaled deeply, breathing in next to her ear, and she felt his grip fumble for her wrist, pressing in tightly to feel her heart beat.

When neither of them said anything, Roy's doctor shifted and cleared his throat uncomfortably, then just muttered something about paperwork to fetch and left the room.

The moment he was gone, Roy's head lowered to bury even deeper in her shoulder, and for one long moment, he just said nothing and only breathed.

"...Are you all right, Lieutenant?" he finally asked, voice barely louder than a whisper. One of his hands reached up to touch the unnecessary bandages around her neck, trailing so lightly she could barely feel it, and she swallowed.

"Yes, sir." Riza paused for a moment, turning just slightly to look at Roy again. His empty eyes were open, and stared at nothing. Black had faded to hollow grey, but still, in them, she could see that he was looking for her.

That was all she needed to see to calm herself, take a breath, and lie.

"Mei did well, but the wound just did not seal all the way. From what the doctor said, I gather I'll be released the same day as you."

She was not taking a single step away from his side now, even if she had to lie through her teeth to ensure it.

Roy released a shaky sigh of relief, and he finally leaned back again, but his hands did not leave hers. He turned his head away, blinking, jawline still tight with tension and pain. Carefully, Riza began to slide her hand out of his wounded one, leaving the other on his shoulder.

Roy jerked violently before she could complete the motion, grip abruptly tightening so much it hurt _her,_ never mind how much pain it had to have left him in. He brought his head back by instinct alone to stare at her, gaze somewhere around her forehead, eyes wide and imploring with need that spoke out even through unseeing grey.

" _Don't,"_ he hissed, and then ferocity and an order melted into desperation and a pleaded request. "D- don't, Riza. ...Please. Please don't go."

"Sir-"

"The last time I saw you, the last time I saw anything at all, aside from that, that _thing..._ it was you." He spoke quickly, as if in a rush to get the words out, voice rough, and empty eyes at last clenching shut. "Your neck was ble... _bleeding,_ and you, you were..." His expression contorted, hands shaking again, breaths unsteady. "I'm sorry, Riza. But when you left me earlier, and I couldn't see you or feel you, I- it felt like you really had died. Like I'd just somehow dreamed all of this, and you died back there and I.. I couldn't _breathe,_ Riza. If I can't see- _feel,_ you- I can't _know_ you're still here- I'll start thinking that you're not. Riza, I... I can't. ...I'm sorry, Riza, I'll even make it an order if I have to, but you _can't_ leave. I _need_ you here."

His voice broke again, and his head dropped back into her shoulder, eyes still shut, back trembling in silent desperation and grief. Mangled hands clenched even tighter around hers, fingers curling in a frantic plea.

All Riza knew was that whatever Roy needed, she would give.

If needed her now, then he would have her, for as long as he asked for it.

"Ri- Riza... _please._ I need you here, Riza!"

"Then I won't let you go, sir."

 _Ever._


End file.
